Day 7: Fear of Aging--Be Ok with the Gray

"Gray hair is a crown of glory; it is gained in a righteous life."

 Proverbs 16:31

 

 

DAY 7:  Fear of Aging

 

I'm 40!  That's a fact.  I remember when I was in college and I would hear that someone was 40, I'd think "Dang, they're old."  Now, I'm that old...dang!

 

 

Push up bras are my best friend, the wrinkles on my face seem to be multiplying by the minute, and I have so much gray hair that I can't pluck it out anymore.  I'm getting old.  There's no stopping it.  I can either embrace it or fear it.  How can I be OK with the gray?

 

Last year only a week after my son, Nathaniel, was born, I was watching the movie "13 Going On 30" (great movie if you haven't seen it), and I experienced a very memorable moment in my life.   

 

As I sat on the couch watching that movie, I was holding my newborn baby in my arms, and in that moment, I realized that I was holding my last baby, and I sobbed.  Even though I looked horrible and I knew that my husband, being a professional photographer, would hate taking such an awful picture of me, I asked him to grab the camera and take my picture, because I wanted to remember that exact moment in time forever.   

 

 A flood of emotions washed over me, and I sobbed.  I sobbed that my days of having children were over.  I sobbed because I was going to have to wait to be a grandma to hold a newborn baby again.  I sobbed because I was getting older and I was no longer a little girl.  I sobbed because I missed the innocence of school days, and even though they seemed so difficult at the time, they were actually much simpler times.  I sobbed because I greatly missed my younger mind and my younger body and just overall my younger self.  I sat on the couch paralyzed with fear.  I didn't want to age anymore.  I didn't want my little baby to grow up.  I didn't want Ben and Abby to grow up.  I wanted to freeze time and keep things exactly as they were.

 

 

 

I didn't want to get older and uglier and grayer and get sick and more wrinkly and even more saggy.  I just cried and cried.  (Two things:  1.  I had no idea 13 Going On 30 would be such a deep, thought-provoking movie, did you? and 2. Can you say Post-partum?) 

 

I sat wondering...were my best days behind me? 

 

It was in that moment that I realized that I had a fear of aging.  I don't want to fear the new phases of life that come with moving out of the child-bearing times.  I don't want to fear what my life will look like without precious teeny, tiny babies.  I don't want to fear how my kids will change or what they will be like when they get older.  I don't want to fear the changes that I will go through in my mind.  I don't want to fear the changes that I will go through in my body. 

 

I want to embrace aging.  Aging is part of God's plan.  I want to celebrate the wisdom that comes with getting older.  I want to celebrate the confidence I've gained in knowing more of who I am and my purpose in life.  I want to find joy in each stage of life.  I want to seek God's guidance and direction.  I want to continually ask Him to use me to bless others in each new season that life brings. 

 

The bible says in Isaiah 46:4  “Even to your old age and gray hairs I am he, I am he who will sustain you.  I have made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you.”

I know God will sustain me and carry me and rescue me as I continue to get older. 

 

Do you live with the fear of aging?  Are you ready to invite the Lord to release you from those fears?  Are you ready to be OK with your gray?  I am!

 

 

 

PRAY WITH ME: 

Lord, today, I give my fear of aging to you.  Lord, I know that each day is a new treasure.  Each year is a new journey.  Each gray hair shows that wisdom is gained.  Each wrinkle shows that I am laughing.  Help me to embrace each new phase of life with anticipation for the good that will come from it.  Lord, I want to live each day feeling blessed for my children and all they will do for You with their lives.  Help me to enjoy the now with them and just take one day at a time.  Give my mind and body health as it ages, and allow me to live life with joy and hope for the future.  Lord, shine Your light into my fears of aging, and hold my hand as I walk forward in confidence and faith as I get older.  In Jesus' name.  Amen.

 

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