Saturday, October 4, 2014

DAY 4: Fear of Death--Live Life Now

"Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil, for you are with me;
your rod and your staff, they comfort me."
Psalm 23:4
DAY 4:  Fear of Death

No matter what my symptoms are, the internet says I'm dying.  I had to just stop looking things up on-line because everything I would type in to the search boxes would always end up with me having some sort of brain cancer. 
I'm sure it's no surprise to know that because I experienced the loss of so many loved ones early in my childhood years, I developed a tremendous fear of death.  If I found something on my skin; if some of my hair would come out; if my stomach hurt; if I had the flu, I automatically feared that I was dying.  In fact, I even recall thinking that something was seriously wrong with me when I saw someone hammering across the street and I was seeing the man hit the hammer and then not hearing the sound of it until seconds later.  Obviously at age 6, I didn't realize the amazing science of light waves traveling faster than sound waves so my thoughts went to the fact that I must be dying.  I even remember not wanting to go to a friend's house unless I knew for sure that their parents were trained in CPR just in case I needed it. 
This fear of death has followed me into adulthood too, and especially after becoming a mother, I've feared death and leaving my children without a mother.  The thought just terrifies me.  I cry just thinking about it. 
A few years ago, I went through a lot of medical testing when I was experiencing vertigo.  Immediately, I thought I was dying of brain cancer.  Thank God it ended up being just extremely low blood pressure and low blood sugar, and all I needed was to eat more regularly and increase my salt intake. 
As a Christian, why do I fear death so much?  I don't know.
Don't I believe that I will be with Jesus in Heaven if I do die?  Yes. The bible says in John 3:16 says, “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life." 

Don't I believe that Heaven is more amazing than earth?  Yes.  The bible says in 2 Corinthians 4: 17 "For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all."

This is how I picture being greeted by Jesus in Heaven.

Don't I believe that God will take care of whoever I leave behind on this earth no matter when I go?  Yes.  The bible says in Psalm 10:14, "But you, O God, do see trouble and grief; you consider it to take it in hand. The victim commits himself to you; you are the helper of the fatherless (or motherless)." 

Don't I believe that no matter what, I am the Lord's?  Yes.  The bible says in Romans 14:8 "If we live, we live to the Lord; and if we die, we die to the Lord. So, whether we live or die, we belong to the Lord."

Today, Lord, I give my fear of death to you.  Take away the worry from my mind.  Allow me to live my life knowing that I am Yours whether I am on this earth or with You in Heaven.  Allow me to live in Peace knowing that my life is in Your Hands and that all things are in Your time.  Allow my mind to be focused on You.  Work through me and through my life no matter how long or short it is.  Help me not to fear what happens to my earthly body.  Help me to trust that You are with me no matter what valley I may be walking through.  You are there to comfort me always.  And Father, as a mother, allow me to cast my fears of leaving my kids to You.  Though it seems impossible, I know You love my kids even more than I do, and if I should leave this earth to be with You, I will be leaving my kids in Your Loving Watch.  Lord, shine your light into my fear of death and fill me with faith to walk in confidence that no matter what, I am Yours!  In Jesus' name.  Amen.


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