MARRIAGE MINUTE #1: God-Centered Marriage

"Nothing is impossible with God." Luke 1:37

July 8, 2000

Marriage Minute Introduction:

My marriage is not perfect.  Whose is, right?  But I am grateful for it, and I know that God’s blessing is upon our marriage as well as everyone elses.    No matter how hard it gets or how impossible it seems.  “Nothing is impossible with God.”  Luke 1:37.

We are all a work in progress and so are our marriages.  The bible tells us in Isaiah 64:8 “Yet, O LORD, you are our Father. We are the clay, you are the potter; we are all the work of your hand.” 

So we should expect to change…we should expect our marriages to change…and trust that God knows what He’s doing.  And trust me, God knew exactly what He was doing when He guided me and my husband through many challenges over the last 12 years.  Through those struggles, I was forever changed…Brad was forever changed…and so was our marriage.  And God is not done!  Even now, we are still growing and learning every day.  God continues to present us with new ways to become more like Him; new ways for us to improve ourselves as individuals and as a married couple.  After having a few opportunities to share with others how much that God has helped my husband and I overcome so many difficulties and bring us such great joy, it became very clear to me how much so many of us need encouragement in our marriages.  I have felt God nudging me (very strongly I might add) to direct my next several blogs towards marriage.   And so I am.    

Over the next few weeks, the “Marriage Minute” blogs I will post will include encouraging stories, helpful hints and words of wisdom that my husband and I have learned that have improved our marriage.  My prayer is that, even though the blog posts will only take you about one minute to read, God will highlight something that you can take away from it and bless your marriage.

MARRIAGE MINUTE #1:

Put God at the center of your marriage: Pray and Protect!

^"'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind'" Luke 10:27

 

Brad and I come from two different religious backgrounds which definitely has been a challenge in our marriage.  When we met over 16 years ago, neither one of us was strong in our faiths, but since then, that has changed.  But we chose to marry each other regardless of our religious differences and so we are choosing to love each other and trust God with His plan for us and our family.  The bible tells us that God has called us to live in peace.  In the last fews years, even though our views of God are different, we each have promised to put God at the center of our marriage, which for many years, He was not and it showed.  We promised to pray over our marriage and ask God to protect it.  Jesus says in John 10:10 “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.”  Satan wants to destroy all of our marriages, and God wants us to live life in our marriages abundantly and joyfully.

The bible tells us in Genesis 2: 22-24: “Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. The man said, ‘This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called 'woman, ' for she was taken out of man.’ For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.”  And in Matthew 19:6, “Since they are no longer two but one, let no one split apart what God has joined together.”

This week, I pray that no matter what your differences are in your marriage—religious or something else--that you will not let them come between you, but instead choose to put God at the center of your marriage and allow Him to show you ways to appreciate your differences.  I pray that you will start to feel a oneness…a togetherness that you have never felt before…just the way God intended it!

 

 

 

Dedicated to all marriages...Please post any helpful hints that you and your spouse have found beneficial to your marriage.  Let's encourage each other.  Let's pray for one another.  Let's pray over our marriages!

Sweet Water

“The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged." –Deuteronomy 31:8

Ricky the Raccoon--Spring 1981

~My pet raccoon, Ricky, was addicted to sugar.  My older brother and I had him as a pet in the spring of 1981 when I was only in 1st grade (read Ricky's full story in my previous blog).  Ricky, like all raccoons, was very good with his front paws—he used them like hands.   I still have vivid memories of Ricky washing all of his food in a little water bowl that we kept in his cage.  Whatever we gave to him, he would run over to his bowl and rub it in his little paws dunking it in the water over and over.  One time, my brother and I gave him a sugar cube.  His addiction to sugar had been created through his many exposures to sugary foods such as birthday cake, Sweet Tarts, etc., but this was his first actual sugar cube.  He quickly grabbed it from our hands and raced over to his water bowl with great excitement, as if he knew that the cube he now possessed was the sweet elixir he so craved in its purest form.  As he was scrubbing it clean, it dissolved in the water.  He was so confused as he searched and searched for it in his paws.   Then he looked in the water bowl and it was gone.  Still puzzled, he ran over to us and we gave him another one.  He ran back to his water bowl and washed it thoroughly again, and as before, it disappeared.  We just laughed and laughed.   We felt badly for teasing him like that, so we eventually gave him some Sweet Tarts to make up for it!

~Ricky searched and searched and frantically looked for the sugar cube and it was not there!  Or was it?  You may be faced with struggles and challenges, and sometimes you may feel completely alone.  You may feel abandoned by God.  You may ask Him why He would leave you.  Sometimes you need God’s sweetness, but you feel, like Ricky did, that it has disappeared somewhere in the water bowl of your life.  Do you know what God would tell you?  “I am here.  I have not and will never leave you.   Just drink the water, my child.  It will be the sweetest water you have ever tasted!”   Had Ricky drank the deliciously sweet water, he would have realized that the sugar cube was there all along.  Just like God is always there for you even when you think He’s not!  This week, don’t be afraid or discouraged but instead be bold and courageous, and trust that God will never leave you.  He will always be near you, so move forward in faith and please drink and enjoy the sweet water of life!

Ricky the Raccoon

"I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my eye upon you."  Psalm 32:8

Ricky and Me:  Summer of 1981-
This is the only picture I have of me and Ricky together--I treasure it!

Yes, I had a pet raccoon.  Didn't everyone?  At least that's what I thought as a first grader who had a pet raccoon.  My husband tells me that having a pet raccoon definitely makes me “non-urban.”  I know, I am truly a country girl at heart---at least Mattoon, IL country girl.  If you have never been to Mattoon, it is more southern than you think it is.  So much that when I first went to college, everyone thought my roommate and I were from Kentucky because of our strong southern accents.  Oh, yes, back to having a pet raccoon.  His name was Ricky.  And even though it's been 31 years, I still remember the coarseness of his fur and the unexpected softness of the pads of his hands and feet.  And I still remember the love that I felt for this smart, quirky, loving creature.  And I still remember the pain I felt when he died.

When I was in 4th grade, I was given my first opportunity to write a book for the Young Author's Contest at our school.  Ricky had been gone for 2 years, but as soon as we were given the assignment, I knew exactly what I would write my book about...his short, precious little life.  In order to preserve a little history, here is Ricky's story in the exact words that I wrote them when I was 10 years old.  (Let me tell you how hard it was for me not to change grammar, sentence structure, punctuation, etc.--ugh...darn perfectionism).

"Crash! Thump! Eeeeee!  Eeeeee!  I never thought those three sounds would change my life.  It was a spring afternoon in early May.  My dad and I were visiting a friend in the country.  We were near the woods where we heard the sounds.  "What's that?" asked Dad.  "Sounds like something fell from a tree" our friend said.  Let's see what it is!" I exclaimed.  So off we went into the woods still hearing eeeeee!  Then I saw two little furry raccoons.  I just had to pick them up.  We talked about letting me have one and that would happened to them if we left them.  Dad decided to let me have one because they die laying there in the leaves.  Our friend took the other.  We said thank you and good-bye to our friend and got in the car.  The fur ball was climbing all over me.  I felt strange because he was trying to find his mother.  Soon we were home.  Mom was in the house getting ready for company.  My brother Brian came to see the little raccoon.  At first he didn’t know what it was.  Then he saw his face.  “Oh boy a baby raccoon!” exclaimed Brian.  Now, we had to see if Mom liked the baby raccoon.  “Aw, he’s cute”, Mom said.  “We found him at David’s house in the country”, I said.  Mom got a little box and blanket for him to sleep in.  “Put him in the box to see if he likes it”, Mom said.  He just layed in the box until somebody picked him up.

I took him out of the box and took him downstairs.  Dad found a bottle to feed him.  Mom heated the milk and bottle.  We gave it to him but he kept spitting it out.  Then we gave him a taco chip he ate that right down.  What a surprise!

We didn’t know what to name him.  Brian thought of names like Chips, Taco and Fred but none of those names sounded right.  Dad thought it would be nice to name him Ricky Raccoon.  We all talked about it and thought Ricky was a good name.

I wanted to take him outside.  Shelby, my next door neighbor, liked Ricky.  She thought he was cute.  I walked around the block and Ricky fell asleep in my arms.  Shelby just learned how to hop on one foot.  She was loud and woke Ricky up.  I started crying.  Then, I went into the house.  It was getting kind of dark so I put Ricky to bed.  Our company came and Mom made me go to bed.

The next five months were filled with many fond memories of Ricky.  Here are some of things I remember most.  One time we got a snowcone, but we didn’t like it so we gave Ricky some of it.  At my Birthday I gave him some ice cream.  He sat like human set.  He thought our dog Bitsy was his mother.  Marcy, the girl who lived across the street, didn’t like Ricky.  One day she came over to play.  “Is Ricky out?” she asked.  “No, he’s in the house”, I answered.  “Ok, I’m coming over”, she yelled.  Mom didn’t know Marcy was at our house, so she let Ricky out.  “A-A-Ah!” Marcy screamed and jumped on the Gym Set.  “We’ll put Ricky in his cage”, Brian and his friend Randy said. “No, as soon as I get down you’ll let him out” Marcy cried.  “OK, we’ll go over to Randy’s house with him”, they said. “Ok, I guess”, she said as she got down.

When our cousins came over we swam in our pool and Ricky got in.  Mom told us to get out and get some good clothes on because we were going shopping, so we did.  Ricky was still in the pool.  He was fiddling with the hose and squirted us.  Boy did we get in trouble. 

In October, we moved to the country.  A big truck cam and we put all of our belongings and Ricky’s cage in the back end.  I was riding car with my mother.  Brian was riding in the truck with Dad and Ricky.

It was a nice country home with 20 acres, lots of places for Ricky to roam.  The only thing Ricky didn’t like was Clarence the rooster that was at the house.  We decided, since Clarence pecked us sometimes, that we would sell him at an auction

At night, my brother and I collected nuts to put them in Ricky’s cage.  When we let him out in the morning, he would go in a hole in a certain tree over the cliff by the creek.  We decided it was time for Big Guy to be free.  We put nuts in one of the holes and put a red collar on him so we could recognize him.

The next day when we got home from school we called Ricky.  “Come here Ricky!  Come here Big Guy” we said.  There he came running up over the cliff to greet us.  We went inside to change into play clothes.  We went outside to play football with Ricky.  We played for an hour Mom called us in to do our homework.  Ricky came too.  After we got our homework done we let Ricky out and ran out to his tree.

The next day was Saturday so we didn’t have to go to school.  Brian had has friend over because it was almost his birthday.  Brian and Randy were playing out in the woods by the creek.  They noticed something in the creek.  It looked like a raccoon. 

It was a raccoon, and it had a red collar.  They came running to the house to tell dad what they saw.  I started to cry, grabbed my shoes and ran with them.  There Ricky was laying in the creek, face down, and frozen!  He had been shot to death.  We couldn’t believe it!  Who would do such a thing and why?  Dad put on his gloves, picked him up and took him to the house.  We decided on the spot to bury him and dug a hole.  Dad put him in the hole.  We all got tears in our eyes as Brian played taps.  Dad started covering him up saying “Good bye Big Guy.”

This story gets me every time.  I will never forget it.  Even though his life had a sudden and tragic ending and it's really something that I still don't understand, I’m very grateful for the experience of raising a pet raccoon.  I’m very grateful for the time I did have with him.  I love how our Heavenly Father uses even difficult or challenging circumstances to teach us.  He uses even things we don't understand and pulls the beauty out of it.  I love how God used Ricky to teach me about my true love for animals and awaken an amazing connection I have with all of God’s creatures, and because I had never lost a pet before, He also used Ricky’s death to teach me about loss and how to bond with my mom, dad and brother to cope with it.  Do you have a memory from your childhood that made an impact in your life? 

This week, I pray that God will reveal to you a significant moment in your early years that you may not think taught you anything, but it did.  I pray that He will show you exactly how you grew from it and what you learned.  I pray that He will reveal to you things that you never even realized, and allow you to see how that event made you who you are today.  I pray that you will find a new way that, even through that experience, God taught you, loved you and always had his eye on you!

My Journey from Infertility to Incredibly Grateful

THIS POST WAS WRITTEN IN 2012 WHEN I WAS ASKED TO SPEAK TO A MOMS GROUP.  SINCE THIS POST, I'VE BEEN BLESSED WITH ANOTHER CHILD!  GOD IS SO GOOD AND IS USING ME TO ENCOURAGE MOMS EVEN THOUGH I NEVER THOUGHT I'D BE ONE.  PRAYING THAT YOU WILL BE ENCOURAGED BY THIS POST NO MATTER WHAT YOU'RE WAITING FOR IN YOUR OWN LIFE!

"And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them."  Romans 8:28

My Family--I am so grateful...incredibly grateful!

 I hated everyone who was pregnant.  Experiencing infertility was one of the most difficult, challenging, frustrating, depressing and life-changing times of my life, but because God is so good, He used what satan intended to end my life to forever change and greatly bless my life. 

Growing up, I was taught that I could accomplish anything—all I had to do was set a goal and work hard to accomplish that goal.  I feel very blessed for all of the opportunities that I have had through prayer and hard work.  In my eyes, though, my worth to God and to my family was through my accomplishments.  My view of God was that I had to be good to be loved by Him.  My relationship with God was very close in grade school, junior high and high school, because I was “good.”  I made good choices, so God loved me---- at least that’s what I thought.  Once I got to college and starting making bad choices, I believed that I wasn’t good in God’s eyes anymore, and, therefore, did not deserve God's love.  I felt full of shame and guilt and began to let that create a distance between me and God, and when that happened, everything in life seemed so impossible.  I let that distance last for more than 17 years, and it is no surprise that those 17 years were the darkest of my life.  I still prayed and talked to God, but I always felt that I wasn’t good enough to receive His blessings.  I felt that He had much better people to spend His time on, and so the distance grew.   I let satan lie to me, and I listened.  I believed everything he told me.  I believed that God didn't love me anymore.  I believed that I was alone in all my struggles.  This was a very dangerous place to live.  It wasn't until my husband and I started trying for a family that I realized just how dangerous...

It was early January of 2003, and I was 29 years old. Brad was 30.  We had been married for three years at the time.  We weren't very enthusiastic about having kids but we figured that we should at least start trying since we weren't getting any younger.  That's why it was so easy at first to have the mind set that if it was meant to happen, it will happen when it’s supposed to happen.  We had no idea how long it would take nor how difficult it would be!  Soon we had been trying unsuccessfully for one whole year...so I started tracking my cycle...then two years...so I started taking my temperature every morning ...then three years. And let me tell you, all the tracking, temping and timing was really sexy, I'm sure.  lol!  

 What was happening?  I was so confused.  In those 3 years, I quickly became bitter and hateful and depressed.  We had gone through all of the medical tests and nothing was wrong, so in my mind, it was so obvious that God was punishing me and that I just simply was not good enough to be blessed with a child.  I was used to accomplishing the goals that I set for myself, so I wasn’t prepared to handle this.  I felt like a total failure.  I felt lost and completely alone.  I did pray about it, but I felt that God didn’t care about me and that He wasn’t listening.  I had no one to talk to who understood.  Brad didn't know what to tell me anymore.  My mom couldn't relate and none of my friends could relate because they all got pregnant the second they tried.  Everyone around me was getting pregnant, and I hated them all!  Everywhere I looked were pregnant women, baby strollers, minivans, diaper bags, and babies, babies, babies!  I couldn't get away from it!  AAAAAHHHHH!  It was just too much to take.  Why was everyone around me more deserving of this than me?  What was so wrong with me that I couldn't get pregnant?  I was consumed by this.  It was all I could think about or talk about.  Soon, I was so low that I couldn’t even get out of bed.  I would literally sleep the entire day because I didn't want to even see another pregnant person.  I cut myself off from many friends and family because I couldn't handle another person telling me she was pregnant.  I had so many friends who had 2 babies before I was even able to get pregnant with one.  It felt so unfair.  I was so angry!

In fact, I was a teacher at the time and 11 women in my school were pregnant…11!!!! They were all around me with their fat bellies and their complaints about being pregnant, and I hated all of them for complaining about something that I would gladly take on.  Once a very positive person, I became hateful and resentful and I didn’t even recognize myself.   I hated myself for feeling the way I felt and I hated anyone who was pregnant.  Satan had me, and I didn’t even see it!  I was trapped in a pit of self-pity and self-loathing, and it was one that I felt I couldn't escape.  The thought that I would never get to be a mother was unbearable.  The thought that Brad would regret marrying me because I couldn’t provide him with a child was unbearable.  The thought that I couldn’t even be happy for ANYONE who was pregnant was just unbearable.  The thought that I made my whole family feel uncomfortable because I was such a wreck was just unbearable.  And so I thought that everyone would just be better off without me.  WHOA!  That’s when I knew that I needed some serious help. 

As soon as those thoughts entered my mind, God began to intervene in big ways by putting it in my heart that I needed to go to counseling, and so He led me to my counselor, Dr. Dan.  And because I didn’t believe that fertility treatments were right for me, He also led me to my acupuncturist, Dr. Joy.  I decided to get serious about this, and I told my acupuncturist to tell me what I needed to do.  She said I needed to quit drinking alcohol---done, what else?  She said I needed to change my diet and take herbs---done, what else?  She said I couldn’t drink any caffeine or carbonated beverages---done and done, what else?  She said I needed to eat meat---which was difficult for me to take because I had been a vegetarian for about 5 ½ years at that point, so that one took me a while, but I did it and I haven’t looked back (dang--meat is so good)---so done, what else?  She said I needed to exercise and do yoga---easy-- done, what else?   She said, I needed to give up chocolate----I have to do WHAT?  But I did it, and I actually ended up giving up chocolate for 5 years.  (I eat it now and I’m loving it, so don't worry! J)   But that’s not all God wanted me to clean out of my life.  He also highlighted other junk that I needed to get rid of…my hatefulness, my resentfulness, my stubbornness, my ungratefulness.  God worked on these things through my counselor.  Dr. Dan helped save my life.  He was able to help me make sense out of my feelings; remove the guilt and shame I felt; and refocus my negative thinking to be more positive about life, about others, about God and about myself.  He helped me to get me back!  I'll never forget the very eye-opening assignment Dr. Dan once gave me.  He asked me to write down what I thought about myself—when I look back at the words I wrote, it terrifies me.  Here was my list:  old, dried up, loser, alone, old hag, depressed, fearful, barren, hateful, resentful, useless, worthless, I have no purpose.  Oh how satan loved this. Oh how saddened God must have felt that His daughter saw herself this way, and so I know that God worked through my acupuncturist and my counselor to make me a healthier person; a better person both inside and out.

Every week for over a year, I would drive 2 hours round trip to first go to my counselor where I would leave emotionally exhausted and then go to my acupuncturist where I would leave physically drained because I would lie face down on the table and count 42 needles being stuck various places all over my body including 6 inch long ones stuck in the back of my knees and in the sides of my butt.  It makes me cringe just thinking about it.  And every week for over 52 weeks, I would lie there crying...pleading to God..."Please, God, let this be worth it!!!"  All the while doubting that He was listening or even cared. 

And in May of 2007, after 8 months of acupuncture and counseling, after 8 months of not eating chocolate, after hours in the car, after exhausting counseling appointments, after over a thousand needles poking into my body, I thought it was all worth it when I finally got pregnant!  I couldn't believe it.   I was shocked and excited.  Unfortunately though, the excitement was very short-lived.  At 6 weeks along which was only 2 days after I found out I was pregnant, I miscarried.  It was awful.  I didn't get out of bed for days and days.  My husband didn't know what to do or say anymore.  I thought I couldn't ever feel worse.  Oh, I could.  In August, my 10 year old miniature schnauzer, Sophie, who I always called "my baby", unexpectedly passed away. 

 I couldn’t believe that God would take away 2 babies from me in just a couple of months!   Why would He want to see me suffer like this?  Why is He continuing to punish me? Oh, Father, forgive me for ever thinking this about You! 

I now know that it was only through the grace of God and the love and support of my family that I made it through.  After that summer, I continued to go to counseling.  I continued to go to acupuncture.  I started to get out of bed.  I started to spend more time with my husband, my family and my friends.  I began enjoying life more.   I began to find happiness and laughter that I hadn't felt in a long time, and I began to feel God’s presence and peace.  I began to feel that my life would be ok.  I began to feel hopeful.  Hopeful that I may still become a mom someday.  Hopeful that even if I was not able to conceive again that God would give me a baby another way.  God gave me the strength to get through the pain and the losses and He also gave me the courage to open up to my family, my husband and my friends and make those relationships even closer!  I sought forgiveness from those who I hurt during that dark time.  I began to heal, and I began to focus my energy on appreciating and being grateful for all that I did have instead of focusing so much on what I didn't.    Brad and I even started talking more seriously about adoption, and I began to trust God with whatever He had planned for my life.  And wouldn't you know as soon as I gave it all up to our Father, it was then that God blessed me with another pregnancy.  It was October of 2007--nearly 5 years after we first starting trying.  And this was it!   This was my baby!  Although I had some underlying fear that I would lose this pregnancy too, I still enjoyed every second of being pregnant! 

I loved everything that went along with it...EVERYTHING!  I seriously loved it all, and I was so incredibly thankful the entire time, and on July 21^st, 2008, after 27 hours of labor and an emergency C-Section, I gave birth to my beautiful boy, Benjamin Alan!  It was the greatest moment of my life!

I tell Ben every day what a special gift from God that he is, and that before he came along, I thought I would never be a mommy.  I tell him what an amazing surprise that he was, and that I love that God chose to give him to me!  I love my boy so much.  I am so grateful to be a mom!  It has been the most rewarding, wonderful (though challenging too), beautiful part of my life!  I know that God didn't give me infertility, but He sure used that experience to change my life.  God really does make all things GOOD, and so not only did He bless me with my sweet baby boy, but He also gave me my precious little girl, Abigail, three years later.   He gave me a family that I thought I would never have, but He gave me even more than that. 

He made me more appreciative; more content; more giving; more loving; more forgiving of myself and of others, and he made me more grateful...incredibly grateful!  He made me more than I ever thought I could be. Praise God! But He also taught me more.  He taught me that His love is unconditional; He taught me about His grace and forgiveness; He taught me about who He really is; He taught me about trusting Him with my life's path; He taught me how to be more of the person that He created me to be; He taught me His love is not about my accomplishments; He taught me that His timing is perfect; and He taught me that everything that I went through was all worth it!  Whew!  Did I have a lot to learn or what?  And the best part is that I'm still learning.  

I know that this may sound weird, but I am so thankful for infertility.  Without that darkness, I wouldn't be the person I am today living in the Light I'm living in today.  God pulled out every ounce of good during those years to make me a better mom, wife, friend and human being!  I know that God is not done with me yet and I praise Him for loving me so much and putting gratefulness back into my heart! 

 

This week, I want to pray for you!  If you're going through infertility, I want to encourage you.  In Genesis 1:28, God said "Be fruitful and multiply." so we know that God wants to bless us with children.  Keep believing.  Keep being hopeful.  No matter what challenge that you're going through right now, I want to remind you that God is always good!  The bible tells us, "The Lord is good, a refuge in times of trouble. He cares for those who trust in Him." Nahum 1:7  It's really that simple.   We must trust God and press in to Him and His truth and be completely deaf to the lies of satan.  Satan nearly caused me to take my life and I quiver at the thought of all that I would have missed out on, so I beg you to listen to God's voice.  Follow God's direction.  If you need to get help, ask.  If you need counseling, go.  If you need prayer, pray!  God’s goodness will always prevail!  God will always give us more, teach us more and grow us more than we ever expected.  I would like to leave you with three helpful and profound questions from the book, Crafted Prayer by Graham Cooke, that God showed me to encourage a very dear friend that God has a wider purpose for anything that we are going through in our lives. 

1.  What is it that God wants to be for me now that He could not be at any other time?

2.  What is God doing in me to make me more like Jesus?

3.  What else is God doing through me to the people around me as I go through these circumstances?



 

 I pray you can ask yourself these questions about your situation and God will show you His bigger picture for you too!  May God bless you, protect you, and show you how much He loves you and help you to be incredibly grateful every day!

What has God taught you through a struggle you have gone through or are going through?

**Dedicated to all of the women who have struggled with infertility or who are struggling.  To those who have struggled, please share your story.  To those who are in the midst of the struggle, please don't give up.  Even now, God continues to give me more from this struggle.  He has blessed me with opportunities to share my story with others and even pray for and encourage other couples and women struggling with infertility.   I praise God for continuing to allow me to bless others and I give God ALL of the glory!   Please allow me to pray for you too.  You can contact me at christineleeb92@gmail.com.**

Here is my crazy family now.  What a blessing!  What miracles.  God is so good!

 

 

See the Train Coming

“The soul of the sluggard craves and gets nothing, while the soul of the diligent is richly supplied.” Proverbs 13:4

~ Sunday Fadiya is a name that I will never forget.  He was an older gentleman from Nigeria who was in many of my education classes in college.  He was an interesting man who had a lot of unique and creative ideas.  Even though he was sometimes difficult to understand with his heavy Nigerian accent, I learned to understand him, and I grew to adore him and his accent.  Little did I know that this man would impart so much wisdom on me.  This is just one of many Sunday Fadiya stories...

Sunday and I were assigned to do our practicum teaching in Champaign which was a 45 minute drive or more from Eastern Illinois University.  When I learned that he didn’t have a car and wasn’t sure how he was going to get there,  I immediately offered him a ride.  He was so grateful.  A few days a week, I would pick him up at 6:45am, and he would be waiting outside for me.   One morning, he was waiting outside in the snow and was freezing cold and covered with snow by the time I got there. 

So, I asked him, “Sunday, how long have you been waiting for me?” 

He said, “Oh, I wait about a half an hour or so.” 

I said, “Why?  I told you that I’m not going to be here to pick you up until 6:45am.  Why do you start waiting so early?” 

He told me in his strong Nigerian accent which somehow just sounds wiser, “In Nigeria I was always taught that it is better to see the train coming at you than it is to see the train pass you by.”  

At the time, I didn't know just how valuable that simple sentence would be to me someday, but at the time, my only concern was to try to keep him warm and dry a little longer, so I knew what I had to do.  I would have to tell him that I was going to pick him up later than I actually was.  One time I decided to tell him I wasn’t going to pick him up until about 7:15am knowing that he would start waiting for me at 6:45am which was really the time that I needed to pick him up.   That way he would just be getting out there as I would arrive saving him from waiting out in the cold for so long.  Oh, you should have seen that panicked look on his face.   He was so mad at me.  I explained my reasoning for doing that, but he didn’t understand at all. 

~I wish that I could be more like Sunday.  Do you?  Do you struggle with being on time?  Punctuality is not my strength.  It seems that I am always running late---or as Sunday would put it---I am always seeing the train pass me by.  Sometimes I can be so late that the train isn’t even in sight, not even nearby, and probably already moved on to the next train station.  This is an issue in my life that God has pointed out to me.  It’s something that I am working on and getting better at, and in fact, not only am I challenging myself to be on time, but my goal now is to be early!  What a concept? Honestly, the world around me just feels different when I'm not rushing around or rushing my kids around.  I get to see things I don't normally see.  I get to meet people I wouldn't normally meet.  I get to take time to enjoy my kids a little longer.  I get to stare at the sunset for a little longer.  It's amazing what allowing just a little bit more time can do. 

I love this quote by Lord Chesterfield "Know the true value of time; snatch, seize, and enjoy every moment of it. No idleness, no delay, no procrastination; never put off till tomorrow what you can do today."  

This week, I pray that you will see many trains coming at you and not so many passing you by.